Hi, y’all, I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, and I feel I have so much to say, that I haven’t said it yet. I looked at my blog, and I could see my life digressed when it actually progressed. It’s almost like I wrote the least when I needed to write the most. I let depression and loneliness manifest inside of me instead of writing and releasing it. My thoughts all lived in my heart and my head, but I didn’t let them escape. Maybe it’s time to let them escape so I can keep life moving forward. When you lose something so close to you, it takes so much out of you. It drains love from the heart, but blood still runs strong through the heart, which reminds you that there’s still so much blood and love left to give. But it also limits who you share it with because you don’t want that pain again, and you have to protect the peace you have at all costs. You get a sense of peace for the loved ones gone, and you have to be careful who you let into your space that can take that peace you found away.

While doing my Saturday morning chores and listening to my old-school music, I now listen more to words, than music, and understand what we missed back in the day by listening, but not really hearing. Always and Forever by Heatwave came on, and I just stopped and listened; these are the lyrics:

Always and forever, each moment with you

It is just like a dream to me that somehow came true

And I know tomorrow will still be the same

‘Cause we’ve got a life of love that won’t ever change and

Everyday, love me your own special way

Melt all my heart away with a smile

Take time to tell me, you really care

And we’ll share tomorrow, together

I’ll always love you forever, forever

There’ll always be sunshine when I look at you

It’s something I can’t explain, just the things that you do

And if you get lonely, phone me and take

A second to give to me that magic you make and

Everyday, love me your own special way

Melt all my heart away with a smile

Take time to tell me, you really care

And we’ll share tomorrow, together

I’ll always love you ever, ever

Always forever love you

Always forever love you

Always forever love you

Always forever love you

This took me backward and forward at the same time. Always and forever is the love I shared with the people closest to me that I lost. Always and forever, they will be with me, the dreams I had with them, and for them will last always and forever. When I always thought tomorrow would be different, I realized tomorrow would be the same because, with a life of love, it won’t ever change. It’ll change because they aren’t there in the flesh, but they are always there in the spirit. There will always be sunshine when I look at you.. and they show themselves in the clouds with the sun. My heart still melts with the smiles they left me, always and forever will be the same. I thank GOD for the signs that HE shows me to make me feel better. I lost, I loved, and I will always love. I have to choose who to give my love to because each loss breaks the heart a little, but the love you put back strengthens it every time. Now it’s funny as I finish this blog, Luther Vandross comes on saying, ‘It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright now.” I take this also as a sign. To get back to blogging and releasing. Someone else needs what I share, they are going through or know what I’ve experienced. Writing makes me happy, so now I focus on happiness and recovery. The mask is slowly coming off and always and forever life improves.

See ya soon,

The Real Mommie Teresa