I always have life lessons that I love to share, and today it’s about that call back because of my mammogram. When you have your annual mammogram, you always think, because you did your own exams, that everything is fine. You never think that the doctor office will call you back for more testing. Well I got that call. So their words were, “Ms. Crawford, we need you to come back in to meet with the radiologist and the doctor about your mammogram.” So you know it throws you for a loop because there are NO positive thoughts coming to your mind, and no they won’t answer any questions over the phone. Yes I can come tomorrow, (which was today). So after you get that call, how do you go on with your day! I’m at work, already having a mediocre day, and now I have to deal with this? Stress level on 99!!. So I try to block the negative thoughts, but then you start thinking crazy thoughts like, is my will updated, how will I tell the kids, will they have to remove my breast, who in the family had this, is my hair gonna fall out? Man, the questions are rolling through my mind. Then when I finally get home, I do the Hanna (from the Haves and Have Nots). PRAY! I was feeling like, I just dodged that bullet of gall bladder surgery, now I gotta go through this breast problem? After my conversation with God, I was like, Lord, whatever your will be done, I’ll love you anyway? I just pray this is nothing.

So I get up and still feeling anxious, and glad its my day off, so I go to the gym to just relieve some of the anxiety. Then I get ready to go in. I get to the Breast Clinic and go back this time for an ultrasound. So she says, we’re only looking at the right breast. So she said, I’ll leave while you undress. I was like, no mam, I can take this top off in like 2 seconds, so you can stay and get this thing started, you’ll be looking at the breast anyway! Lol.. So she stayed and put that gel on the breast. She said the problem is right here below the nipple, so we’re gonna focus on that. Now y’all know we don’t know what we looking at on at ultrasound, but I swear I saw faces, bruises, dark clouds and everything else that looked abnormal. I told her, honey educate me and tell me what it is we are looking at and for? So she showed me the blood vessels, and she said this spot here looks abnormal. So me being “direct”, asking abnormal meaning cancer, blood clot, what? Cause I need to know like now. She says the doctor will come in and go over everything. Then she asked if I was cold? Honey I’m so hot I’m bout to fall out! She did a really good job of calming me down by talking about something else. Props to her with that!

So finally in comes the doctor. He turns the machine back on and then he ask me if I felt that knot in my breast. NO! I check regular and I never felt one. So he let me feel what he was feeling. I’m like that has been like that, and it’s not a hard knot, it feels more like a soft tissue. So he said it may be scar tissue damage, but we need to do another different mammogram. So I go back in to the mammogram machine. The nurse did the mammogram, and I’m still nervous, but after she finished, she and I was friends by now and she let me look at the picture. She showed me the knot that she saw. I just bluntly asked, do you think it’s cancer? She said… Well, this is wide, and cancer is normally narrow, she also said, the edges are smooth, and cancer edges are normally jagged. So she said if she had to say from her experience, she’d say no. So one monkey fell off my back, the other one was waiting for the doctor. So when the doctor came in, he said he thinks it’s scar tissue that has calcified, which means clumped together and it appears to be ok. Whew, the other monkey fell off then!! He says he wouldn’t recommend a biopsy right now cause he feels it would be benign. But he does want me to get another mammogram in 6 months to make sure it’s ok! Whew!! Tears of joy, and thanks to GOD again!

Then after I left I realized I’ve really been being tested by GOD lately. I had the flu in Jan, gallbladder in Feb and now this, but everything came out fine. I feel sometimes like my Faith is being tested, and God is preparing me for something, but GOD I believe in you and I know even though we may not agree with everything YOU do, YOU are the one person that holds my life in YOUR hands, and regardless of what I go thru, I’ll love YOU anyway.

With that experience, I think about the many women who don’t get good news. The women who hear, “you have cancer”! The thoughts that go through your mind of not knowing what will happen will devastate you. I think the fact that I believe in God, and have faith, I was truly prepared for any outcome. I just pray more for the women who endure this disease that affects so many of us. I never thought I would get a call for abnormal results, but I did. So ladies, please get your mammograms. This is so important. And if you are going through this, you will forever be in my prayers. I’ve done breast cancer walks, but I think this makes me a lot more intuned to the feelings of anxiety women go thru.

Thanks for being a part of my life experiences and if it helps ONE person, I did my job!

Love & Hugs,
The “Real” Mommie Teresa