As a little girl at 13 years old, yes little girl. (Back then 13 you were still a little girl!!) I remember standing over my Mothers white casket, it had glass on top of it, and it showed her whole body. Almost like sleeping beauty. She had on a long white dress, pearl nail polish, and satin white shoes. Her hair was pulled back and her makeup was done flawless by my Aunt Flossie. She didn’t look dead. She looked sleep and she looked so at peace. She was beautiful. Not only was she beautiful dead, she was beautiful alive. She was the prettiest woman I ever knew. The love I had for her was an indescribable love. It was almost like a fairy tale love. You know the love that only comes once in a lifetime?  Well you can imagine how devistated I was when I saw that casket close, and watched them lower it into the ground and cover it with dirt. The absolute worst, most horrific day of my life! The pain was unbearable and I knew I had lost one thing I would never, ever get back in this life!! All I had was memories, and dreams of how we were, and who she was. I had lost my Best Friend! I prayed a lot. I missed all the Mom stuff growing up. I missed the love, the support, the talks, and the just being Mom. All the things I ever dreamed of, I missed.  

Years later after being a Mom of 2 amazing sons, I went to the doctor for a checkup and a refill on my birth control pills. And to my dismay, the doctor said I was pregnant!! Like almost 7 months!! Had no idea! No missed periods, no weight gain, nothing!!!!  I did NOT want anymore children. But now I was expecting a third, and then I found out it was a girl!  What a blessing. God protected that baby to make sure she got here!  Well that little girl was born and she carried a portion of my Mothers name. As a matter of fact, she looked like my Mom. She was perfect!  Then all the love I had inside from a Mother/Daughter prospective flood out into her. I gave her everything I missed with my Mom. She was my daughter, and she was my best friend. 

But not until she grew up, and a day like today, do I really understand who she is. She is my dream, except I’m the Mother and she’s me. She’s the me that wanted to take care of my Mother. She’s the me that was amazing and traveled and told the amazing stories.  She’s the me that sent beautiful gifts, and never let me feel unloved!  She’s giving me what I would have given to my Mom. I understand God’s purpose more today than I did when I was 13. I lost it all! But I was faithful and humble, and He gave it back to me. So God gave me a dream in you Christina. He is in you “Christ-Ina” and I never realized that until today.  I read every page of the book you sent me, and every page brought a joyful tear.  Because it’s so us!! We can see something and immediately laugh because we’re thinking the same thing…I can call you and you’ll be dialing me… I’ll be cramping and call you and you’re cramping..you share all your joys with me and I share mine with you. 

So today, this is for you. You are my Dream. You are the person that completed my life cycle. You are the gift God gave me back for my Mother, and I love you soooooo much. There are not enough words to tell you what you mean to me, and how you healed so much hurt that was in my heart. All I can say is “Christina, thank you for loving me” and “thank you God for loving me enough to make my dreams come true by giving me a chance to really know, A Mother’s Love through a daughter!!

And by all means, I love my boys!! My Men..My protectors!! They are all of that!! They make sure me and Christina are ok all the time and they are also my gifts!! However, this was about a little girl who lost her Mother. 

“Hugs, love & joyful tears”

The Real Mommie Teresa