So you don’t know what you wanna do in life? What??! This is not what parents will want to hear, but some of us need to hear this. Now my young adults, pay close attention…

This is a subject that is sometimes controversial, and everyone has an opinion… these are “mine”.  So parents, (I’m not a Psychologist, I just lived, and learned).  When kids graduate high school and get ready to go to college, they have this idea or dream of what they desire to be.  Well your idea is stored somewhere in the back of your mind, tucked away, and the dream is on the forefront, because you want to live up to everyone else’s expectations.  I can remember when my daughter wanted to be a Pediatrician. Why? Because she had the dream of making a lot of money, and everyone was like, oh Christina is going to be a Doctor. So me, being a realist, and working at a children’s hospital, made sure she understood what came with that madness.  Every time you walk into a room with a sick child, they are screaming and crying, why?  Because Mamma said the Doctor is going to give you a shot!  And after babysitting some kids that gave her a real reality check… lol… she didn’t want ANY part of that!  Thank God for my years at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta!  Then she thought she wanted to be a Pharmacist. I knew that was a boring job for her, but “other” family members had the “dream” of her being in medicine.  So after her FIRST year of college, she had a revelation   “BORING”. Lol, I understood!  Then she found her niche, Broadcasting and Journalism.  I could see that in her. But “other” family members lost “their” dream of having a “Pharmacist” in the family and were disappointed. But you know what mattered the most? She was happy!  And so was I!

Parents, we cannot live our dreams through our children! We have a hard enough time trying to decide what we want to do in our lives!  I know back in the day, our grandparents worked the same job for 30 years!  And now we max out at 6-10 years. When your child changes his/her major in school, don’t trip out on them. I know sometimes we think we know what’s right, but is it right for you, or your child?  We can’t live vicariously through them, we’ve had our chance.  So when you spend all your money on a degree, then your child decides he wants to cut hair,  work in a prison, or be a cop, that child has had that idea in their mind a long time, but they wanted to fulfill “your” dream. That was an expensive dream that “you” bought and paid for, and will never get the chance to use!

Let your children create who they want to be.  I’ve heard so many kids say, I wish my parents could understand that! College is not for everyone!  You know if your child is struggling in High School, how are they going to make it in College?  They go, and party for a couple of years, then take a year off. Lol. A year off, and they have money to go, means ”not for me”.  If it’s financial, that’s another story.  We never know where our paths will take us in life, and how many times our careers will change.  I don’t even know and I’m almost 50.  I’ve done so many daggone things! Let me see, Army, Headstart Assistant, Cosmetologist, Correctional Officer, Security Officer,  Narcotic Officer, Bartender, Operations Manager,  General Manager, and Sales.  And not to mention all the “other” hustle jobs I had!  And my career is still changing!  But I’m happy! If I didn’t like it and it didn’t make me happy, I changed, to create change. I just refuse to let life pass me by and I’m not happy.  So when you’re stuck in that rut of life, it’s ok to make a change!  What kills you slowly is the fact that you hate your job, you have to have it, because you’re afraid to change.  When you can get it in your mind that it’s ok, you’ll be ok!

Our children are the future. They ARE going to grow up. And we always say, “I don’t want them to struggle like I had to struggle”.  WHY THE HELL NOT?!?!! The fight wins the battle!! If you don’t know how to fight, you lose every time! When you make decisions for someone else, or you live for someone else, you lose “your dreams, your desires, and yourself”.  When a parent just “can’t” let go, they are doing more harm than good. Parents,  let them go.. let them fight.. let them get beat up, so they can know how to stand up and fight back.  Sometimes we always know what’s really best, and sometimes we don’t. Let that chain break off those kids!!!! Stop trying to let them be who or what you never could be, because that’s not their dream, it’s yours!!

Young people, my words of advice are “live, laugh, love”! If you live, you’ll find what it is you really want to do. When you laugh, you take life as a challenge and a joke.  It’s funny when you see where you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going.  And love, when you love, all the pieces of the puzzle come together.  When you love your life, you enjoy yourself.. Love your job, and the money WILL come. (One guy told me.. when you hate your job, that’s what it is.. a J.O.B.  “just over broke”). But when you love what YOU do, it’s rewarding and beneficial to YOU! Stand up to your parents and let them know what makes YOU happy. We may fight you, but in the end, your future is YOUR future.  We will still love you! It doesn’t matter if you work on a garbage truck, or drive a tractor trailer, if you’re a Doctor, or a Cab Driver, or a starving artist..  WE WILL STILL LOVE YOU!!!

So when those kids want to change, sometimes all they need from you is support. Listen to what they say; because they tell you what they want, you just don’t hear it, because it’s not a part of “your” plan.

As always,

Hugs and Love from

The “REAL” Mommie Teresa